Monday, September 2, 2019

The thing about retirement

It dawned on me tonight, while I was trying to decide what to do with the rest of my evening, that there was a time when the kids were home, when I’d be bustling around, making sure the clothes were washed, the homework was done and in the backpacks, lunchboxes were clean, and a plan in place for what to pack them with in the morning. I’d be drawing baths by this time, and starting the bedtime routines for each child. I’d be running down the to-do list in my head, trying to foresee and forestall any contingencies that might arrive. The night before a school day was always busy.

My thoughts turned to later years, when the kids had left, but I was working as a Pre-K teacher. I’d be making sure my hair was washed, as well as my clothes, all the myriad of materials for the week’s projects assembled, cut, and stacked neatly in my big tote. I’d be running down lesson plans in my head, working out how to fit in last minute assemblies, or library, and coming up with alternative behavior plans for the students that were struggling at the moment. The night before a school day was always busy.
But now one day is pretty much like another. I don’t have a reason to wash my clothes or my hair 🤣 I don’t have to rush to bed, and hope I can get to sleep. I don’t have to try to walk through the coming day in my head to be prepared. I don’t have to plan for anything. If I want to take a walk to catch the sunset, I can do that. If I want to stay up past midnight to finish my book, there’s no reason not to!

There’s good and bad in everything, I suppose. Having ample time to do whatever I want to do is a wonderful thing- at least it sounds like it should be a wonderful thing. Truth be told, I’m a person who needs a deadline, and a considerable amount of pressure to accomplish much of anything. But that’s on me, and I’m working on it. But still- those busy days, the days of children, and family, and even work- those were wonderful, too. They made the activities we managed so precious- and I think I actually DID more, because I had to plan where to squeeze it in, and because what I wanted to do was so clear in my head. And everything was so full, because there was so much love in it all- so many people to talk to and share things with.

Anyway- Happy Labor Day night! And Happy Start of Fall! And Happy Busy Days with your loved ones, doing the things you love to do.