The Fall holidays are over, and the wonderful hustle and
bustle of Christmas is gone. I’m left
with January, an empty house and Time.
Time is a bit of a stranger to me, and I’m still working on figuring him
out. Whoever thought I’d still be struggling with retirement all these months
later!
To tell the truth, these Winter months were never my favorite
in preschool. It’s in Jan, Feb and March
that I began to push a little harder, expect a little more. The children had to sit longer during Circle,
be quieter, and reach for new concepts. The lessons in the Winter months were
ones I thought were extremely important, but extremely difficult to pull off.
Often, I was introducing concepts they’d never been exposed to. Living in NW Montana, where 99% of inhabitants
are White Anglo Saxon, explaining prejudice, and bigotry on a preschool level
held no immediate relevance to a lot of these children. And often, it was either their first presentation
of these issues, or it was in direct opposition to what they heard in their
family life. I, honestly, had a parent
tell me, “That Nigger’s got his own holiday while our good Presidents have to
share a day!” He wanted me to stop teaching about Dr. Martin Luther King… and I
asked him… you want me to stop teaching this unit about fairness, kindness, and
respect? A unit I hope will plant the
seeds that keep your child from bullying and being bullied?’ (I didn’t stop
teaching it, by the way. His comments
redoubled my commitment). Good stuff. Important stuff. Difficult stuff to do well that left me
exhausted.
And of course, there were the weather issues. Driving Blue
Slide road in the Winter months can be dicey.
Whether it’s snow, or ice, Blue Slide is not a major road, so plows, and
sanders have to deal with the main highway, and major roads first, leaving my
drive to work dangerous (for a person with my Winter driving skills). Just
facing the slide down our driveway was enough to start my heart pumping.
And so, being retired in January, is not an, altogether, bad
thing! And yet! Unbelievably, I find
myself saying… ‘you mean it’s only the 11th???’ Time, in the Winter,
is stretching itself- and THAT is a TOTALLY new experience for me, one I need
to learn to deal with.
Oh goodness! It’s not like there aren’t things to DO! It’s
just that before, I had good reasons not to get around to doing them! LOL! I
still have some Christmas things out!!! (did I just admit that?) And my closet
needs to be cleaned. The house is in
perpetual need of a good dusting, and the floors, with 3 dogs, and 4 cats,
ALWAYS need to be vacuumed and steamed. I
NEED to get back to exercising, and the dogs should be brushed. I sell Jamberry, and Stampin’ Up! And
doTerra- which keeps me busy. I WANT to
play piano, and do crafts and projects, and I DO have friends! But all I seem
to do is read- which isn’t bad, as long as I get a handle on it.
My new plan is to make more lists! Ha! Which always seems
to be my go-to solution. I figure
awareness is the first step, right? So, this retirement thing is a work in
progress, but I’ll get it! I, always,
said, ‘if you’re going to do something, you need to do it well’. This is no different. I work best under duress, but I’m going to
have to either cause my own duress, or change a lifelong habit. Whichever, I’m sure I’ll struggle a bit while
finding my way, but find my way, I will.
There’s really no alternative.
