Time

The Fall holidays are over, and the wonderful hustle and bustle of Christmas is gone.  I’m left with January, an empty house and Time.  Time is a bit of a stranger to me, and I’m still working on figuring him out. Whoever thought I’d still be struggling with retirement all these months later!

 

To tell the truth, these Winter months were never my favorite in preschool.  It’s in Jan, Feb and March that I began to push a little harder, expect a little more.  The children had to sit longer during Circle, be quieter, and reach for new concepts. The lessons in the Winter months were ones I thought were extremely important, but extremely difficult to pull off. Often, I was introducing concepts they’d never been exposed to.  Living in NW Montana, where 99% of inhabitants are White Anglo Saxon, explaining prejudice, and bigotry on a preschool level held no immediate relevance to a lot of these children.  And often, it was either their first presentation of these issues, or it was in direct opposition to what they heard in their family life.  I, honestly, had a parent tell me, “That Nigger’s got his own holiday while our good Presidents have to share a day!” He wanted me to stop teaching about Dr. Martin Luther King… and I asked him… you want me to stop teaching this unit about fairness, kindness, and respect?  A unit I hope will plant the seeds that keep your child from bullying and being bullied?’ (I didn’t stop teaching it, by the way.  His comments redoubled my commitment).  Good stuff.  Important stuff.  Difficult stuff to do well that left me exhausted.

 And of course, there were the weather issues. Driving Blue Slide road in the Winter months can be dicey.  Whether it’s snow, or ice, Blue Slide is not a major road, so plows, and sanders have to deal with the main highway, and major roads first, leaving my drive to work dangerous (for a person with my Winter driving skills). Just facing the slide down our driveway was enough to start my heart pumping.

 

And so, being retired in January, is not an, altogether, bad thing! And yet!  Unbelievably, I find myself saying… ‘you mean it’s only the 11^th???’ Time, in the Winter, is stretching itself- and THAT is a TOTALLY new experience for me, one I need to learn to deal with.

 Oh goodness! It’s not like there aren’t things to DO! It’s just that before, I had good reasons not to get around to doing them! LOL! I still have some Christmas things out!!! (did I just admit that?) And my closet needs to be cleaned.  The house is in perpetual need of a good dusting, and the floors, with 3 dogs, and 4 cats, ALWAYS need to be vacuumed and steamed.  I NEED to get back to exercising, and the dogs should  be brushed. I sell Jamberry, and Stampin’ Up! And doTerra- which keeps me busy.  I WANT to play piano, and do crafts and projects, and I DO have friends! But all I seem to do is read- which isn’t bad, as long as I get a handle on it.

 

My new plan is to make more lists! Ha!  Which  always  seems to be my go-to solution.  I figure awareness is the first step, right? So, this retirement thing is a work in progress, but I’ll get it!  I, always, said, ‘if you’re going to do something, you need to do it well’.  This is no different.  I work best under duress, but I’m going to have to either cause my own duress, or change a lifelong habit.  Whichever, I’m sure I’ll struggle a bit while finding my way, but find my way, I will.  There’s really no alternative.