worry

Recently, I decided to post 3 things I'm thankful for on my Facebook wall for each day in November. It's easy. Frankly, the difficult part is paring down my thankful list to just 3 a day! But I find the exercise useful, as it really gets me thinking and starts the day in a good frame of mind. 

This is what I was ruminating about while I fed the horses, chickens and kittens this morning... ALL the many, many things I was grateful to have in my life... thankful to notice and appreciate. And I stumbled on one that made me laugh, because it's a bit controversial.

I am thankful for Worry. 

Oh, I've read all the quotes, and memes and articles- I've listened to the podcasts and lectures telling people how detrimental worrying is, but I feel like Worry gets a bad rap. To me, worry is just proof of the many things in my life worthy of loving. Worry, to me, is active Love. Here's an example: When my husband goes off on one of his many long-distance hunting trips, I worry. I envision him surrounded by Light- I ask for Guardian Angels to watch over him and keep him safe. I ask the Universe, and anyone else with any clout to keep him alert, and aware of his surroundings and to bring him safely home to me. I project forward images of him arriving back home, happy and healthy. I do this because I care. I do this because I love him. 

Another example- (there are SOOO many!) Every day, after feeding the animals, I tell the kittens to STAY IN THE BARN!!! They are safe in the barn- but there are many dangers for cats in the big, wide world. I worry about them because I love them, but especially, in cases like this, worry serves a bigger purpose. When I worry, I brainstorm. WHAT am I worried about? and HOW can I mitigate the damages? This worry has led me to insulating, and re-purposing an old chicken coop, into a deluxe cat house, with a self heating blanket, a litter box, etc. where I house the kittens at night when the dangers are maximized. This worry has led me to making the kittens as absolutely safe as I can manage- and worry keeps me brainstorming for new ideas upon which I can act to improve that protection. 

So, I argue that worry serves a purpose! and worry expresses the degree of my love. (And when I love.... I LOVE! ;) It can be overpowering.... ask my children). 

I, totally understand there are other points of view! Many disagree with me, and have valid arguments! But I'm hopeless to change, because I don't want to modify my position on this. Actually, I'm happier when people worry about me! Their concern feels like love to me. And I get reinforced when my worry leads to actions which benefit my loved ones.

Keep this in mind when I tell you to BE CAREFUL! or to Call me when you get home! When I bother your neighbors or family because I'm unable to get a response from you, and it's been awhile since I've seen you online. It just means I love you. You're important to me.

Trail Cams are useful

I use trail cameras as a fairly inexpensive home security system. I have them hidden so close to every square inch of our property is covered! In the back of my mind, I know I'll see who tramps through Wind's Echo, but mainly, I have them set so I know what animals are prowling around. I feel safer knowing what's out there. 

And.... it's FUN! :)

I check them often- some of them daily 

(I suppose I SHOULD correct the date and time :/) 

Today, when I went out, the kittens followed me. NAUGHTY kittens!!! I really do not want them going out that far- And when I went to chase them back to the barn, I noticed that Pagan's hackles were up, and his tail puffed out as if he were scared of whatever he was sniffing vigorously. 

When I got back to the house, I checked the cards. Sure enough, what I suspected showed up on camera. 

coyote.

But was even more worrisome was farther down the card.

two of them... just before I came down to release the kitties from their nighttime enclosure. 

I grabbed Skye, and we went back down to the barn. 

The kittens were outside playing, but when they saw Skye, they raced to safety in the hay.

Skye and I walked the pastures for a bit- I wanted the coyotes to see or smell her, and I wanted the kittens to STAY in the BARN!

On days like these, I never relax. I'll be outside running back and forth to the barn for the next few days at least. Part of the trials of loving, I suppose, and living in the country.